Typed up by Dances with Squirrels
You Infamously disgusted an NME journalist in an early 90's interview, when you gave him your coc.k-ring to hold after a hot sweaty day.
(laughs) He was pissed off. He was a wanker, that's why I did it to him. He got a fistful of my nuts. I had this sweaty ball ring on my dick and I just handed it to him and said 'Here - I've been wearing that for hours'. He said 'Euurgh, you fu.cker' and ran off to wash his hands.
You can't blame him for that.
How do you get on with the press generally?
I'm fine with as long as the pictures look cool. I don't like it when somebody tries to manipulate a conversation. A lot of these guys - excluding yourself - will asked loaded questions to try and irritate the interviewee and get him all riled up, theoretically to get a better or an edgier interview. They manipulate your quotes by trying to piss you off, and they want you to slag off other bands. You guys got an important job to do.
It is an important job. Its part of popular culture, man.
Yes, but when I think of important jobs I think of doctors and teachers.
Thats rubbish. Doctors, all they do is steal your money.
And cure you.
Not cure you. If they wanted to cure you they'd cure you. If they really wanted a cure for cancer, there'd be one, but they're making too much money off cancer. They have no interest in curing you.
What about teachers, then?
That's a very noble profession, but its the kind of gig you get if you can't do anything. You know - I can't do sh.it, let me teach! So you end up with a lot of dipshit teachers. And all the good teachers quit just as they get good at it, because they're not making any money. Thing is, if they paid the fu.ckin teachers well, there'd be a lot of smart people wanting to be teachers.
Is it true that in some American states geography has been removed from the school syllabus?
(laughs) I wouldn't doubt it, man. Most Americans haven't been out of their little land-locked towns. There's a stretch of road on one side and another stretch on the other, and its a fu.ckin mystery to them whats down the road. But actually its not a mystery, because they dont wonder and they dont care.
Your first band was The Lookouts. What was their music like?
We had a lot of political songs. One was called 'Fu.ck Religion', another was 'My mom smokes pot' and another one was 'Typical American fu.cked up kid'. We were 11 or 12 years old when we did them, so my drumming skills were pretty amazing (sniggers) . I love listening to that stuff, thought I thought that little kids' stuff was good.
Any record collector has to get all the Lookouts records. The first Lookouts record, only 1500 of them were printed, and I dont even have that one. There's the One Planet One People LP then theres the 'Mendicino Homeland' 7", then we did an LP called Spy Rock Road.
Do you ever listen to that stuff nowadays?
I wish I could fu.ckin find it. I've got the singles, though, because they're still in print.
When you started playing, did you ever think that one day you might sell over ten million records?
Yes of course. I'm bad and I've always been bad.
Was the first wave of UK punk - the Pistols, the Damned - much of an influence on you?
No, not really. I was brought up on 80's American punk rock like Dead Kennedy's and MDC. Then older friends of mine would say, check this out, this is the Pistols; punk from the 70's. I would think, man, this is old - I was four years old when that came out! So i'm too young for all that.
But its no good saying that punk influenced this or punk influenced that. It all started with some guy banging on a log and then worked its way up from there. Everything influenced everything else.
If someone asked you what being a punk is about, what would you say?
I would say, go and ask a rock journalist, because they're more than likely to tell you.
When is it too old to be a punk?
When you're dead.
Have you got a lot of records?
This is Record Collector , right? Hmm. I've never been able to catagorise my collection - there are records lying everywhere.
You've never attempted to A-Z them?
I've tried a couple of times, but they're all over the place. The problem is putting them in catagories - you want a rock album, but its also a punk album, so you put it in the punk section and later you can't find it. The best thing is to do it in alphabetical order, I think.
Yes, but then what do you do with your Various Artists albums?
Oh (stumped) . Wow.
You're in trouble, aren't you?
You are. And theres a lot of those. You know, i've got a whole record case just of Frank Sinatra albums. I'm gonna sell 'em on Ebay one day.
Do you live a straight-edge lifestyle?
Fu.ck, no. I was trying to roll a spliff before you called. Didn't manage it though. Crumbly bits everywhere.
I would have thought that in your position you could employ someone to do it for you?
Have someone's slobber all over my spliff?...No. We did a British TV show yesterday called LA Pool Party. Ozzy Osbourne and Carmen Electra were on it. There were all these models drinking apple juice and pretending it was champagne, but I went round and spiked all the models' juice.
Whiskey, man. They were very happy.
The actors probably weren't allowed to drink alcohol on set.
Yes. The United States has way too many stupid rules. But the so does Britain, doesn't it? You can't even carry a pistol around on your side in Britain (sniggers) .
Should America's gun laws be changed, do you think?
I think the people who make the gun laws don't know anything about guns. People should be responsible. Like, people who have kids should have their @#%$ locked up. But I don't realy like the law anyway. The less laws the better.
Are you can anarchist, then?
No, beause then things wouldn't be as fun. I like things fun. Maximised pleasure.
Who are your drumming heroes?
I like Gene Krupa a lot, because what he lacked in chops, he made up for with talent and showmanship, and he hit hard. Marky Ramone too.
Mike Bordin of Faith No More made a point of hitting the drums as hard as he could.
Yes, but thats half as hard as me. (laughs) . No, not really. I do play fu.ckin hard though. It makes soup out of my snare heads - I have to change them every two takes in the studio. Actually, I get stronger and stronger every tour I do - and now i'm a dad I got dad strength, know what I mean? I could lift a fu.ckin car!
What do you do for fun?
I like surfing. Goin' out and getting bitten by sharks.
Have you, in fact, ever been bitten by a shark?
No, but i've caught one on a rod though. A big one. Four feet long, big teeth. It tried to get me.
Did you put it back in the sea?
Yes, but I had to cut the line, I couldn't get the hook out of its mouth.
'Disgorge' is actually the technical term, I believe.
Yeah, but fu.ck that! You you try putting your hand in a hundred-pound sharks mouth. Anyway, fish can get rid of hooks in their mouths really easily. A trout can knock a hook out of its mouth in 20 seconds. It just bangs its head on the rocks.
Were you bullied at school?
A bit. All the other kids at school used to chase me around and try and beat me up, because I was a big @#%$-talker. But one time I snapped and just fu.ckin' went for it and started fighting the biggest kid, called Heath Pearson.
I fu.ckin punched him, right, and it didn't do nothin. He just pounded me, man. Then the teacher came running over and said to me afterwards, 'That was a good shot, man, you got him - I saw it and I was gonna run over but it looked like you were in control, but then he started kicking your butt so I came over and stopped it.' I was like 'Really? That's cool!'
Imagine if Heath Pearson reads this now.
Yeah, that'd be sweet. But what if he's an executive at my record label? He'd read this and go, 'Huh? Fu.ck you! (laughs) . Anyway, I doubt he's ever been to England mate.
You said 'mate'! Americans never say 'mate'.
Like you guys never say 'dude'. Although actually, you are starting to say it nowadays. I have loads of Aussie and English friends, they all say 'mate'.
What bands are you listening to at the moment?
I have this Hank Williams Sr. box set with 78 songs on it. Fu.ckin amazing! He died at like 25 or something. There's a huge book in there with all these drunk pictures of him going 'Hey, whoo! I'm here!'
The only chart music that I listen to would be Travis, when i'm driving long distance and i've gotta just chill down. The Influents are a great band too- Jason White is on that, who is the second guitarist with Green Day live. They were cool suits and stuff.
What music do you put on when you want to bang your head and jump around?
I fu.ckin love Nirvana, dude. I rediscovered them lately. I never liked Pearl Jam, really, but they have a great drummer now, Matt Cameron who was in a terrible band - Soundgarden.
Soundgarden were great!
Oh (makes disgusted noise) , they sucked man!
(sings) 'Black hole sun....'
Oh god....Well thats where we differ. I just don't like that Chris Cornell 'rock' vibe. Like Led Zepplin, too - they got ruined by a terrible vocalist.
That's a bit controversial.
Its fuckin true! . Go ahead and make it controversial, but I don't think it is. I think a lot of people would agree with me that Robert Plant is whiney at best. Great guitar playing, amazing drumming, a very talented bass player....and then that singer. Its like - put your shoes on, dude. Fu.ckin dirty hippie.
Is the current international situation depressing you?
Its kinda funny that the last war we had on American soil was against the British, but this time around its all 'US - British military attacks'. Now we're all chummy. Isn't it wonderful? And then of course, the guy that we trained to attack the soviets is blowing up our buildings. What a paradoxical twist of events.
And the CIA funded the Taliban.
Yes. George Bush Jr. is cleaning up George Bush Sr.'s mess. Its all fu.cked up.
Was it the right choice to bomb Afghanistan, do you think?
I think Afghanistan is a beautiful country. Children are pure and beautiful wherever they are. And nobody should be blowing them up. I dont think the States should be attacked and I dont think anywhere else should be either.
But i'm all about not being afraid of being blown up. I'm all about not being afraid of flying (chuckles) . But I preferred it before, when everything was stupid.
It still is stupid.
Oh, its stupider. Take my personal freedoms, I don't care. Tap my phone Mr Bush. Do whatever you want. Fu.ck my ass too, its all right. God Bless America!